


Drank Like a Fish, Made a Wish

by jellybeanforest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Cap-IronMan Remix Madness, Drunk Sex, Dubious Consent, Idiots in Love, Implied Bottom Tony Stark, Kidfic, Love Confession, M/M, Mutual Pining, Remix, Resolved Sexual Tension, suddenly parents, the morning after, with consequences
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 18:35:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29688225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeanforest/pseuds/jellybeanforest
Summary: Tony has made poor decisions before, but never with such dire consequences.Or:In a world where babies are born from wishes, Steve and Tony get plastered on Asgardian wine and wake up naked and sore to the sounds of a crying newborn.Remix of “Wishes and Wants, Actions and Reactions” by hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes) for the 2021 Cap-IronMan Remix Madness.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 12
Kudos: 140
Collections: 2021 Captain America/Iron Man Remix Madness





	Drank Like a Fish, Made a Wish

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Wishes and Wants, Actions and Reactions](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22493692) by [hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice). 
  * In response to a prompt by [hollyandvice (hiasobi_writes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiasobi_writes/pseuds/hollyandvice) in the [2021_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/2021_Cap_Ironman_Remix_Madness) collection. 



> The original fic is a beautiful story of long-time husbands who acquire a child via wishes six years into their marriage after they had been talking about it for a few months and deftly navigate the fallout. In this fic, two idiots who have been in love with each other for years (but have never managed to get their shit together to act on it) get super-drunk and hook up, resulting in an insta-baby.
> 
> As you can probably tell from the premise, this includes dubious consent for drunk sex. The story begins the morning after, so nothing is explicit, but it is implied that the participants were both very drunk and incapacitated to the point where they could not actually consent to sexual activity.

If Tony were asked to recall the events of the night before, he would be hard-pressed to identify exactly where it all went sideways. Maybe it was when Tony had made a pass at Steve or when Steve had called him a frustrating punk but kissed him anyways (or had it been Tony who escalated by calling him a Goddamn cocktease)? His memory is a little hazy. Perhaps it was all doomed from the very start when Steve had declared himself immune to alcohol in general and drunken shenanigans in particular two months prior. Of course, Thor being Thor, he had taken it as the challenge it definitely was not and supplied the most potent of Asgardian wine for their next celebratory social occasion to test Steve’s resilience. What had followed was a blur of teeth and tongue and more than a little destruction of personal property that ended with Tony waking up in Steve’s bed with a sore ass and a pounding headache magnified by the dulcet sounds of a fussy newborn being softly shushed.

Tony cracks open an eye, and when his vision sharpens, he sees the broad side of Steve’s nude back, crouched over and trembling.

“Steve?” he croaks, his throat scratchy from last night.

Steve turns to look at him, his eyes wild and panic-stricken and a newborn baby swaddled in his ruined shirt tucked in his arms. Tony can’t even process what he is looking at, because what he’s seeing… it should be impossible.

“Don’t freak out,” Steve implores him, even as the baby starts up again. He bounces the child in an attempt to calm it, but with how rigid, how stricken Steve is, the motion can’t possibly be comfortable for either of them.

“…What’s that?” Tony says, his pitch unusually high. “How… what the..? Where did that come from?”

As if he didn’t know.

They had covered the how in fifth grade health class. Two people wish for a baby deep down to their very core, and one is willed into existence. _Think before you wish, or your dreams, they will perish_ is what had been drilled into every ten year old’s head before puberty. So Tony is well-aware of the mechanics of it all, but with dawning horror, he also begins to understand the how. He had wanted Steve for years, had occasionally fantasized about what it would be like to have a family with the man, and Steve must have been drunk enough last night that Tony was able to convince him, however briefly, that he had wanted it too.

And now, here they are saddled with a baby, and it’s all Tony’s fault.

“It’s all my fault,” Tony hears. He is surprised when the words don't come from his lips, but rather from Steve, who looks absolutely miserable, on the verge of tears even.

“It’s my fault,” he repeats. “I’ve wanted… for a long time, I’ve thought about it, wanted a family, the whole white picket fence dream with… I’m sorry, Tony.” He holds the baby – their baby – closer. “I’m so sorry. It’s – it’s okay if you don’t want to be involved. It’s my fault, so I’ll take full responsibility for her.” He chokes up a bit, but manages to hold himself together. “We’ll be fine. I’ve saved up enough to move out of the Tower if that’s what you need. I can raise her on my own.”

_…We have a daughter?_

He must have said the quiet part out loud because Steve insists, “I have a daughter. I’ll– I’ll take care of her. You don’t have to do anything.”

Steve wants the baby.

He wants _their_ baby despite being stone-cold sober in the stark light of day.

“What if I want to,” Tony says slowly. “Help raise her, that is.” 

Steve exhales and his shoulders droop in what Tony interprets as relief. “…We could work out a co-parenting arrangement.”

Tony frowns. “What if I want it all?”

“All?”

_Here goes nothing._

So Tony wraps a sheet around his waist and shuffles closer, shifting gingerly to avoid the tenderness in his ass. “I’ve loved you for a long time, Steve Rogers, and… and well, the circumstances aren’t ideal, but I want to make a real go of it.” He peers down at their daughter, holds out a finger for her to grasp in her tiny fist, as he admits, “You weren’t the only one who wanted her.”

“I’d– I…” Steve sucks in a breath, visibly gathering his courage. “I’d like that.”

It’s not exactly the admission Tony was hoping for, but maybe in time–

“And I wanted her, too. With you,” Steve adds. “It’s always been you, Tony.”

Slowly, tentatively, Tony shifts onto his haunches, leans over their daughter, and brushes his lips against Steve’s.

Their baby positively wails, and Tony sits back just as quickly as Steve resumes rocking back and forth to try to settle her once again.

Tony holds out his arms. “Let me try.”

Steve gently transfers her, being careful to ensure Tony supports her head in the crook of his arm. Her uncoordinated hands rub at her face, but she settles soon enough.

“She likes you,” Steve whispers.

“That’s because she knows I’m going to be the fun Dad. She’s smart like that.” She’s going to be trouble, Tony can already tell.

“She seems healthy, too.” There’s wonder there and an underlying relief as well. “I always thought if I had a child…”

“They would have been perfect either way,” Tony says with conviction. “Like you.”

Steve places a hand on his knee, his thumb lightly rubbing a circle in the joint. “Maybe we should put on some pants.” He gives Tony a peck on the corner of his mouth then steps away from the bed to root for his newly-minted partner’s pants among the disaster that is his bedroom floor. He finally finds them near the door under his jacket with the zipper nearly pulled off. He places them on the edge of the bed, within Tony’s reach.

“Move in with me,” Tony blurts out, “Into my room. We can convert your room into the nursery.” He cringes internally. Maybe he’s being a touch forward and so he explains, “My room is bigger, and your room is in the right spot, far enough away so that she shouldn’t wake up Bruce or Nat.”

Steve smiles, “I’d love to.”

“We’re doing this backwards, aren’t we?”

But Steve insists, “It’s perfect.” He kisses his temple. “You’re perfect.”

Tony feels full, happier than he has been in a long time, possibly ever. Nothing else can top–

“I love you, sweetheart.”

Tony’s breath catches in his throat. “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

It’s everything he has ever wanted and more. Tony turns away, blinks the tears from his eyes, and Steve holds him, careful of their sleeping baby.

_I love you._


End file.
